The betting jungle is a wonderful place. A gathering of independent businesses, colourful characters and people united by a shared interest in horses, although usually with quite different ideas about which one ought to win. It carries the ghosts of fortunes won and lost, dreams realised and fingers well and truly burnt.
It is also a place where a bookmaker can take several thousand pounds’ worth of bets, watch the favourite bolt up and then be asked whether they’ve had a nice afternoon.
There’s still a mystique to the betting ring. So, for anyone less familiar with its ways, here are a few helpful tips.
Tip 1
Stand idly in front of your chosen bookmaker’s joint, as close as possible. Ideally, position yourself so nobody behind you can see the prices or, at the very least, block them from rushing in front of you when the market moves.
You wouldn’t let someone elbow you out of the way at Tesco because the price of bread was about to go up. Don’t let it happen in the betting ring.
Us Brits love a queue anyway.
Tip 2
Whatever you do, don’t make your selection before reaching the front of the queue.
Better still, ask the bookie what they fancy. We’re always ready for a deep dive into the form of every runner, particularly when the horses are approaching the start and there are twelve people waving money at us.
Of course the bookies know which one’s going to win! They’ve just decided to stand out in the open and brave the hailstones rather than have a bet and return to the bar.
Fresh air and frost bite is good for you, right?
Tip 3
Never, under any circumstances, have the correct money ready.
Wait until the bet has been recorded before beginning a thorough search of your pockets. There is no rush.
Ideally, pull out a fifty for a £2 bet. Us bookies love them red ones!
Tip 4
Ask which one Frankie Dettori is riding.
This immediately lets the bookmaker know he’s dealing with a professional. It doesn’t matter that he’s retired, chances are he’s due another comeback soon anyway.
Tip 5
If you want £2.50 each way, hand over £2.50. That’s what you said, so that’s what it costs.
Don’t let the robbing buggers tell you otherwise.
Tip 6
If paying by card, and it declines it will be nothing to do with credit cards being outlawed for betting purposes.
Just keep trying it.
The bookie is pressing a big red button behind his pitch ‘cos he knows you’ve selected a winner.
Tip 7
After the sixth favourite of the day has shot in, ask the bookmaker how they’re getting on.
Timing is everything. Catch them just as they’re reaching into the bag to pay another queue of winners. “You must be doing well with this crowd” is a lovely follow-up.
After all, no one’s ever seen a poor bookie.
Tip 8
It doesn’t matter whose name is at the top of your ticket. Any bookmaker will pay you out.
They’re good like that.
Tip 9
If your horse drifts after you’ve backed it, ask the friendly turf accountant to cancel the bet and issue another at the bigger odds.
They’re here to help.
Tip 10
Insist on 50p each way, then look deeply offended when the bookmaker points to the minimum bet.
They can’t expect you to spend anymore on that, you’ve just re-mortgaged to pay for your ticket and accommodation, your new suit cost a bag of sand, and you’ve just done £120 on a bottle of champagne. Good job you’ve decided to not pull up any extra for a pair of socks hey!
You may have guessed by now that these aren’t entirely serious instructions so please don’t take notes. But the welcome is.
Most racecourse bookmakers are family businesses who appreciate your custom, whether you’re having a couple of pounds on a name you like or arriving with a strong opinion about the favourite.
The ring can seem unfamiliar at first, but its characters, language and little rituals are part of what makes a day at the races special. Ask if you’re unsure. A reasonable question deserves a reasonable answer — preferably before the horses are halfway to the first hurdle.
So whatever you bet and whoever you bet with, keep your stakes sensible and enjoy yourself. Goodness knows, you might even leave with more than you started with.
Be lucky!
